Wilmington’s Lie

New York Herald headline

Before the Tulsa, OK massacre of 1921 and the Rosewood, FL massacre of 1923 there was Wilmington, NC.

Unlike other racially motivated attacks on Black Americans in our nation’s history, the 1898 attack on the Black community in Wilmington, NC was a carefully plotted political coup designed to regain power and put a thriving Black community in its “proper” place.

1890’s Wilmington was a shinning example of Reconstruction where a mixed-race community shared wealth and power. Successful Black-owned businesses thrived and Black North Carolinians held important elected and professional positions like alderman, police officers, magistrates, bankers, newspaper publishers, and more. It was a thriving Black middle class that threatened the way of life and power structure of white supremacists Democrats. So, in 1898, they plotted to take back the state legislature “by the ballot or bullet or both”. More than 2,000 heavily armed white men swarmed the streets of Wilmington intent on torching, terrorizing, and murdering Wilmington’s Black community. At least 60 Black men were shot down in the streets and businesses burned while survivors fled for their lives.

In this episode of Life in HD, I speak with Pulitzer Prize winning author, David Zucchino, about his book Wilmington’s Lie: The Murderous Coup of 1898 and the Rise of White Supremacy. He describes a thriving Black middle class in Wilmington, the coordinated plot by white supremacists Democrats to seize power, and contemporary Wilmington’s inability to heal and reconcile this horrific period in the city’s history.

Masculinity

Michelangelo’s David

Images and portrayals of men as strong protectors and warriors have been handed down through stories and art since the dawn of man. Our masculinity is defined by physical appearance, bullish attitudes, and conquests of all types. But how is that benefitting us as men in contemporary society? Are there other traits that we should be celebrating as masculine? Perhaps intellect and sensitivity? Our ability to father and love?

What if we undefined the traditional roles and traits of masculinity and realize our potential without any constraints? This is what actor Justin Baldoni asked himself after realizing he was not happy with the man he was evolving into. He is known for his starring role on the CW’s Jane The Virgin and as director of the 2019 box office hit “Five Feet Apart”. He joined me on today’s show to discuss his new book “Man Enough: Undefining My Masculinity” and how the effects of traditionally define masculinity prevented him from being the kind of man he wanted to be for himself and his family. He speaks openly about strength and vulnerability, relationships, racial justice, and how he hopes to redefine masculinity in his work as an actor and director.

I hope you enjoy the conversation.

DNA Story #5 – Cayla

Cayla’s biological father

Abandonment takes many shapes and forms and the legacy of closed adoptions can trigger harmful ripples that can last for generations. We wrap up our series on DNA testing and how the rise in these tesiting services opens up a world of discovery with a truly compelling story. Cayla’s story. It is a memoir of family secrets, heartache, reconciliation, and forgiveness.

Cayla grew up without her biological father in her life. Never accepting the reasons why, she embarked on a journey to learn of his identity and get answers to the burning question…”why did you abandon me?” After a multi-year search, she found some of the answers she was looking for. But was the truth enough to make her feel whole? Listen to this incredible story to find out.

Cayla’s grandmother

Music in this episode features DNA (Internal Alchemy) by Ketsa under Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Amerika by Audiobinger under Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.

DNA Story #4 – Rachel

When it comes to searching your family tree, there are inevitable roadblocks that can keep you from achieving the kind of progress that you hoped to make. For descendants of slaves, the barriers can be quite difficult to overcome. The same is true for the descendants of some immigrants who worked to forget the past by getting fresh start in America.

The task can be as equally daunting when you are adopted or the child of a parent who was adopted. Without critical information like surnames, birthdates and places, you lose an entire section of family tree and an opportunity to complete yourself. That was certainly the case for today’s storyteller, Rachel. A young woman curious about a section of family that she knew absolutely nothing about. So many question rolling around her mind, so many answers waiting to be discovered. For Rachel, this missing bit of information stood in the way of feeling whole. As you’ll discover after listening to the show, this is ultimately a story of belonging.

People who have a strong sense of belonging tend to be more secure and comfortable with their identity. It’s a basic human need that provides a sense of wholeness and community that can improve motivation, health, and happiness. Enjoy Rachel’s story.

Music in this episode includes Warm Morning and Biscuits by Ketsa under Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

And Ground Effect by Bio Unit under Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.

DNA Stories #3

Chuck’s Story

The Howe family – Chuck’s great grandfather Charles Wesley Howe (back row center) and his grandfather Walter Wiley Howe to his left.

Forget what you think you know about your family’s history. Once you start down the DNA testing rabbit hole, there is no telling what you might discover. There’s something intriguing and mysterious about sleuthing through your family history.

Some search for peace that comes from knowing their origins, or the thrill of discovering that they are related to some famous historic figure. But for some, a little surprise information can challenge long-held beliefs about their family and create thought-provoking context for their existing relationships. That is certainly what happened to our next guest, Charles (Chuck). Chuck’s simple journey to confirm and learn more about his Irish heritage produce a few extra surprises.

These enlightening moments often have a way of challenging our perspective on family and our relationships to one another. And, in Chuck’s case, we gain a different understanding of our family’s participation in the American experiment.

Music in this episode is Steady Ships and Blazing-Stars by Ketsa under Creative Commons non-commercial, No-derrivatives 4.0 International use.

DNA Stories – 2

Kalia’s Journey

My personal journey to discover more about my maternal grandfather’s lineage led to other unanticipated discoveries. Like a deeper dive into my ethnicity and developing a broader sense of my identity and worldview. It also afforded me an opportunity to meet family members I didn’t know I had. Like my wonderful cousin Jennifer Jones and her beautiful daughter Victoria. We arranged to meet up, share a meal, and get connected in a familial way.

Cousins Victoria (L) and Jennifer (R)

Thorough Jennifer and Ancestry.com I met my cousin Kalia Loper. Jennifer and Kalia’s grandmother Carol and my grandmother Norma are sisters from the Brodis side of our family. Through them, I learned more about my grandaunt who I knew very little about.

I also learned that Kalia was on her own personal journey of self-discovery. What started out as an opportunity to assist in the research of Crohn’s disease through DNA testing with 23 And Me turned into an amazing spiritual journey to connect with her ancestors and eventual physical journey across the Atlantic ocean. Please take a listen. I know you will enjoy it.

Kalia Loper
Kalia’s Great Grandfather
Kalia and Jennifer’s grandmother Carol, my grandaunt.
Kalia’s ancestor Leah Wanter Ruth – born in Guinea and sold into slavery

The DNA Stories

Joe & The 44

The DNA test kit market was valued at $747 million in 2018 and is expected to grow 23% by 2027. Much of it is driven by services offered by companies like Ancestry.com and 23 and Me to meet the demand of a growing number of people interested in their ancestral family tree and DNA testing for health and fitness. Along the way, people are making discoveries about themselves and their ancestors that challenge and influence their identities and how they see themselves in the world.

This 4 part series of Life in HD examines the personal journeys and discoveries of people who have taken DNA test. These stories of self-discovery are in the storyteller’s own words and I sincerely appreciate their choice to share with us all. Everyone’s story is as unique as the force that drives them into the arms of history.

The first story of the 5 part series is Joe and The 44. It is my own journey to discover more about my ancestors, my heritage, and struggles with identity.

Music in the episode is Love Me Forever and I Used To Love Hip Hop by Audiobinger under Attribution Non-commercial license.

The Anderson family – Mary Anderson (my paternal 2nd great grandmother) at center
Maternal great grandparents Robert and Bessie Brodis
Parents and grand parents: Josephus & Helen Lee (L) – Joseph & Frances Lee (C) – Mordecai & Norma Brown (R)
Paternal great grandmother Lillian McGoines (far left) and paternal 2nd great grandmother Betty Coates on the right

The Beauty of What Remains

 As we enter 2021 and reflect on the year that passed, a new book reminds us to pause and reflect on the importance of life. We experienced quite a bit of loss in 2020. Loss of employment, loss of freedoms, loss of security, and the loss of friends and loved ones.

This episode is about focusing on what truly matters in life especially during uncertain times. In his book The Beauty of What Remains, Rabbi Steve Leder shares his own experience of love, regret, and pain in a more personal and intimate way than ever before. After experiencing the loss of his father he discovered how much of a life changing event it truly was. “In death we do not lose – we actually gain more than we ever imagined.”

Steve uses personal reflections and heart-warming stories to bring the reader into a conversation about what is important and urges us to live more meaningful, more beautiful lives that are less anxious and less frenetic.

The Beauty of What Remains is a heartfelt narrative filled with laughter and tears, wisdom, and ultimately, an acknowledgement of the profound truth that if we can understand death and loss, we can learn how to truly live. I hope you get something out of this conversation.

Wisdom

How we choose to approach a variety of issues in our lives often boils down to choices, and the choices we make may require a degree of mindfulness if we are to persevere in that moment. What we are talking about here is being wise. Applying wisdom to address existential and potential life-altering situations and questions.

When life’s disruptions surface unexpectantly, many of us don’t know what to do. We become anchored in fear. The fear of making the wrong decision or how that decision will impact our lives. Whether it’s losing a job, being faced with a career move, mending a broken heart, or feeling a lack of purpose, wisdom can help us navigate forward and push past our fears.

This episode of the Life In HD podcast features a conversation with personal development expert Gary John Bishop. You might remember him from from a previous episode on empowerment. Gary returns to the show to talk about applying wisdom to your life to help create a set of personal truths and perspectives that will become the foundation of your thinking and provide clarity where none exists. In his new book Wise As Fu*k, Gary provides insight that speaks to the 4 areas that touch us most…love, loss, fear, and success.

Pandemic Self-care

Four months into the Covid-19 social distancing, self-isolation lifestyle and we are definitely feeling the impact. The isolation, employment struggles, unknowns about schools and travel are exacting there toll in the form of stress and anxiety. A society esurient for normalcy, we attempt to gain control by developing new habits and adapting to new routines, not all of them good for us.

On this episode of the show, we visit again with health and weight loss coach Elizabeth Sherman to talk about ways to change our troubling behavior for the good and manage the stress and anxiety we are all experiencing.